Feed me, Seymour!

TAFKA Purple Parrot's comment to yesterday's rant is prompting today's blog entry. I respond:

By "Joy Grill" do you mean "Joy Express"? I've had only good experiences with Joy Express (one time at each location). While I agree with you that Joy is starting to look like an evil empire, it will be hard to drop them completely, considering that their style of restaurant is rare in Jerusalem: somewhat upscale, kosher, meat-serving, desirable location, good food, (generally) good service.

The common person in Jerusalem gets screwed enough on a daily basis (banks, taxis, politics, etc) to make me very upset when the "simple" things like dining out go awry. I always try to avoid crowds at all restaurants, as the staff usually can't handle the details, and I hate waiting in general.

I don't think my avoidance of Joy will have any impact on them, nor will my boycott last terribly long, considering the place's popularity and utility among friends. But I was very happy to make my rant public in the hopes that people will take note, particularly with the long-term view of being blessed one day with good customer service, public decency, and civic design in Israel in all aspects of life.

I would encourage entrepreneurs to open their own restaurants similar to Joy to create competition. They would almost certainly thrive today. I would support those restaurants. I also encourage people to complain loudly when not getting the service they deserve. I have issues with: Masryk (overcrowding leads to poor service), Sami's (great food but they doubled their prices), Burgers Bar on Emek (too crowded, and I still lament the loss of the great Jack's MiniBar), and New Deli (NEVER order delivery from them; they really screwed up my order one time and didn't make up for it as they promised).

Finally, here is a list of Jerusalem places that have served me well every time: Lugar, El Gaucho, La Guta, 1868, Olive, Norman's, Al Dente, Kohinoor, Pollo Loco, Cafe Hillel, Big Apple Pizza, Rosmarine, Tmol Shilshom, Pizza Meter, McDonald's, Burger King, Taverna, Yossi Peking, King David Hotel, Sheyan, Canela, Coffeeshop, Ragu, Marvad Haksamim on King George, Goldie, Blue Hole Pub, Almora, Vaqueiro, Corusin in Malcha Mall, and O'Connells (I prefer Belfast Irish pub for service and intimacy but they no longer serve meals). I really miss Mike's Place food! I'm getting hungry now...

The Pain of Joy

A letter I emailed to "In Jerusalem" magazine today (part of the Jerusalem Post; if anyone spots it in the paper, please let me know!):

Editor:
On Sunday morning, April 16, we made our reservation at Joy on Emek Refaim for a ten-person table at 7:30 PM. At 6:50 PM, the restaurant called us and said that they made a mistake. They overbooked and didn't have room for us.

We telephoned when the restaurant didn't call back as promised. We talked to various people, including the one who took our reservation in the morning. Joy's new offer of a table at 8:30 was unavailable in a matter of minutes; presumably, they were taking other reservations while we were on hold. Their offer of a table outside was rejected because of the rain. Their final offer of a table at 10 PM was rejected as ridiculous.

Joy had effectively thrown into the streets a road-weary and hungry family in the middle of Pesach vacation dinner rush. After 40 minutes of calls we got a table elsewhere at 9:30. I decline to mention the name of the "savior" restaurant because they engage in the inexplicably greedy yet common practice of raising the price of every menu item during Pesach.

I urge everyone to avoid the restaurant Joy, especially when it is expected to be crowded. They don't know the importance of details, they can't be trusted for service, and they don't respect frequent customers.

Pre-Pesach Pizza Party!

It's a bit noisy but fun in the office today. Around noon, all of the staff from all the buildings gathered in the auditorium in our building for the annual Passover gathering. Assaf said someone talks for about half an hour, usually reminding us that we are "good soldiers" and that we don't work for Yad Vashem but we serve Yad Vashem. I wasn't too interested until I heard that there would be pizza served afterwards. My, how we suffer for our art. I am so there!

Someone had cleared all the chairs from the auditorium except for a few around the walls. I sat with my office crew and watched people enter, mingle, and enter/mingle/stand-around-talking-by-the-main-door-so-it-was-
difficult-for-others-to-enter. It was kind of like a wedding in Israel: there was a kabbalat panim (no appetizers though), the whole show is running a half hour late, the important thing happened when everyone quieted down, and then there was food afterwards. The smell of pizza was all over the building and in the elevator, and I was hoping it wouldn't be cold when the speech was done.

Luckily, the speaker only talked for about 12 minutes, and with a "B'teavon!" and a gesture towards the buffet tables, the feeding frenzy began. It really wasn't so crazy; I got in quick and had some pizza with tuna on top, which isn't so bad as it sounds. There was all kinds of soda and even a few bottles of wine. I also had slices with onion and olives. The wine didn't go so fast, but I never saw forty boxes of pizza pies disappear so quickly. The pizza was good stuff, delivered from a local place, not made in our cafeteria.

I can't wait for the country-wide Chametz Fest in Israel post-Pesach, in which everyone buys all the good yeast products we couldn't eat all week. Looks like beer is back on the menu, boys!

It's a Nice Day For a...

...white wedding of Benny and Reut! Mazal Tov! They got married last night at a beautiful event. Benny has been friends with Sharon since they worked together at Summer Seminar a few years ago (don't mention t-shirt logos!). We picked up Yoni at the bus stop and drove 40 minutes west-southwest to Chafetz Chaim. Clouds were streamed and swirled on the big sky; a great sunset was on the way.

I was quickly pulled into an evening minyan as we arrived. Then we met up with Mr. Hawaiian Shirt and the D-Lightful One to sample the appetizers. Notable were the smoked tuna and the tortilla wraps, made to order with your choice of meat, guacamole, beans, and sauces. We ruminated on the surreptitious transfer of finished wraps into the hands of other staff. Was there an underground escape route for Mexican food? Delivery to honored guests who don't wait on line?

We stopped caring when we saw the next table being set up with a chocolate fountain. We had some drinks and mingled. In attendance was a young woman in a purple dress and gold shoes (and under her purple hosiery, the nails on her big toes were decorated with an American flag I think, although she spoke perfect Hebrew), and some people from abroad. One British woman had a nice visit to the U.S. recently, in which she toured New England and even got a big "Howdy!" from one of the friendly folks she met.

The location was beautiful, with white trees lit pink and blue by colored floodlights. Flowers and plants everywhere, and benches made from large wooden wagon wheels. The ceremony was very nice, with a handmade blanket topping the chuppah. It started getting cold out as everyone headed inside for dancing and dinner. We were seated with a few other Ramah staff whose company we enjoyed. The rolling mechitza moved quite a bit into the men's dancing area as the women continually needed more room.

Dinner and tablemates were lovely. Somehow I had an instinct for the exact moment that the chocolate fountain was turned on and the table of sweets and fruit revealed! From across the room, I saw the good stuff flowing and ran over with Sharon and Chava hot on my heels. We were first in line and immediately got some sticks (useful for jabbing kids out of the way) onto which we pinned fruits and nougat and let the warm chocolate drizzle onto our skewered desserts. By the time we took our first bites, a mad crowd had gathered. I returned into the frenzy to peel a banana, one-handed, and skewer the whole thing on a stick. I received light "battle damage" in the form of a few chocolate spots on my shirt: a small price to pay.

Then Hillel set up his laptop to project a video on a big screen, which featured the groom singing in a music video. Nice voice and a good idea. Bezalel joked that he wanted to check his email! Then we bensched (post-meal prayers with some extra wedding blessings) and drove home, getting in around 1 AM. The coffee buzz was wearing off by then; we were left to our Willy Wonka dreams.

Take No Prisoners!

Last Saturday, some friends gathered at my place for a game of Risk, the classic boardgame of world conquest. Participating were myself, Phil, Matt, and Ilan. Guests brought snacks and I supplied beer and alcohol. We invented a new drink with tequila, Sprite, and a dash of grape soda. Sharon hosted the "Risk Widows' Club" at her flat. We all honored the Sabbath, and we played outside on my balcony in the sun. The wind caused a few "random troop movements" and card dispersals ("Oh shit!") until we blocked it every time the breeze threatened to get uppity.

Matt was up to his usual diplomacy, but my South America and his North America maintained a truce for most of the game. In fact, we did something unprecedented in the history of Risk: as a show of good faith, we both pulled our troops back, away from central America, leaving one army each at the border. Much can be learned and applied to the real world from the politics of Risk.

I beat all of Ilan's armies to take him out of the game, pillaging all the way through his home (in reality and on the board) in Australia, stifling his cries of "Beer!" I used Ilan's cards to get more armies and take out Phil. I couldn't use Phil's cards to get more troops, however, and by this point I was spread thin across the board, and after a few turns Matt had eaten up the countries and taken over the world.

Matt claims this is the first time he won, but that point is being debated. After he left, Phil, Ilan, and I turned Phil's board over to play Castle Risk. It was the first time any of us had played it and it was pretty cool-- a nice alternative to the standard Risk game. Phil won, and my castle was taken first. We may make this game get-together a monthly event if possible.