Global Domination: Historical Studies

We're in the middle of an important international educator's conference here at Yad Vashem. I'm going to review some highlights by the speaker from the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. Not only did he detail some interesting views on our work, but he made an effective and intriguing presentation that struck many out of their boredom.

After an hour-and-a-half of listening to other speakers from the distinguished panel, our American friend started with: "I'm going to ask you to sit in a few moments, but first I'd like you, for 38 seconds and without speaking, to stand up and stretch." No one in the audience was silent because we all really enjoyed the stretch with a sigh of relief and audible applause. That's a good way to get the audience on your side. Then we sat and the speaker used the number "38" to begin his discourse on our field of study (1938 being an important year).

His briefing on the average American visitor to the USHMM got a few chuckles. Most Americans don't know that World War II started on Sept. 1, 1939; we think that it started with Pearl Harbor, or with D-Day, when we entered the war. Most visitors to their museum are not Jewish. And other points about the location and design of the museum in central Washington, D.C.

The speaker's next interval also engaged the audience. He told us to pick up the blank paper we all received, get a pen, and answer four questions he would ask. We should answer each one in fifteen seconds, and our answers would not viewed by anyone else. The questions were:

• What do you think is the most important city in the United States?
• If you had only ten minutes to tell one story about the Holocaust, what story would you tell?
• What do you think is most Americans' impression of "history?"
• If you were to tell someone about yourself using only a single object that you own, what object would that be?

After we wrote our answers, the speaker then said that these were questions that the designers of the USHMM thought about when planning their museum. As I discussed later with my co-workers, we all by this point thought that the American could use his effective presentation skills and dramatic voice (and pauses) to make us do whatever he wanted. ("Must... write... answers...") ("I feel compelled to vote for George Bush.") ("He let us stretch... the Americans are greatest speakers in the world... U! S! A! U! S! A!")

But seriously, folks, here are the other highlights that I wrote down:

• "Memory is an ongoing conversation."
• "Holocaust educators are brokers of that conversation."
• "Memory is always a product of choice. Choice is always limited by space, time, and intent (or design)."
• "Living memorials should serve the three areas of education, remembrance, and conscience (moral and spiritual questions raised relate to our responsibilities as citizens of a democracy)."

Not bad, huh? And you better believe the speaker's workshop session later today was packed beyond capacity. Thank you, delegate from the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, for engaging us in the conversation and letting us think (and stretch).

Finally, based on post-session co-worker discussion, here are some other things the American speaker could have said at the podium in his mellifluous, dramatic voice (and we would have obeyed):

• "I believe the children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense... of pride."
• "For those of you who have never met an American... we'll meet soon. Don't come over, we'll come to you."
• "For those about to rock... we salute you."
• "Everything is proceeding exactly as the Emperor has foreseen it."
  
• "Remember: Charlie... Don't... Surf."
• "Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?"
  
• "I took over a country, so I am taking a card and passing the dice."

Thank you... I'll be here all week.

One Token Over the Line

Summary of Risk Event II: Electric Boogaloo
The only person who dressed as the color of his pieces was the Jolly Green Giant, as part of a plan to intimidate the previous champion (everyone else forgot to dress for the occasion). We voted that the lone latecomer would become the Pink Peril. Previous Winner was the Red Menace, I commanded the Blue Meanies, and the Black Brigade filled out our party of five.

Pink, the newcomer to our group, focused almost solely on targeted attacks on Black, then changed tactics to near-dominance of North America at a speed which may have surprised all of us. Black had early existential issues as Green tried to block him in for a final kill. I took the Risk to erase Black off the board (no genocide comments please), but Black survived dramatically with one army in his Australian homeland, and slowly grew from there. I had to leave Asia and fall back to North America, leading to regular skirmishes with Pink over the continent. The Red Menace started near Africa and took a country each turn, moving through the Middle East and massing a menacing force next to Black's only supply line from Australia. A Black-Red Axis treaty held for a while until Black apparently got tired of his conservative ally, and entered a war of attrition until both forces were rendered useless. Green played a good game, holding much of Asia (and South America?), and taking out weak players to use their cards to win the game (could have been faster if sets were completed-- or was that a bluff?). I came in second, folding my hand in the face of an assured Green win.

One question came up during play: can a player turn in two (or more!) sets during his turn after getting a defeated player's cards? (We voted no when we couldn't find the answer in the Hebrew rulebook. And the player this ruling most affected, Green, still won). One day I'll post our answers and house rules on a web page. And if we played on days other than Shabbat, we could keep more detailed notes on gameplay.

Mr. Pink and Mr. Red left after the tournament game, so Green, Black, and I played two games of Mission Risk. I won one, and Black won the next. A trio of winners around the table, a good time was had by all, and the strange situation of having far more alcohol at hand than snacks at a Jewish gathering.

Mr. Red had a good idea later: we should buy some sort of champion's trophy, like a large studded beer chalice, to be awarded to the winner each time. The winner would hold it until the next event and present it, clean, to the next winner of global domination. It is presumed the trophy would be used at the event by the defending champion. I suggested, with the current World Cup in mind, that we all retain hardcore posses of aggressive fans who will start riots outside our Risk stadium.